An excerpt taken from a chapter of my new book of short stories ” Things I Did When No One Was Watching.”

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The Butterfly Messenger

I had to go and check the meter box outside as I didn’t want a parking ticket. Just as I stood up she began getting out of her chair, I slowly turned and went over to help her up, and asked her if she needed the bathroom, “no I’m fine really, I want to walk and stretch my legs a bit.” She walked slowly with me down the corridor. I felt as if I had known this lady for years. There was no awkwardness, and our conversation flowed. I had made a new friend. We had almost reached the double doors and it seemed as if hours had gone by. I asked her if she wanted me to walk her back to her wheelchair, “I’m not the least bit tired right now and I don’t get a chance these days to talk to anyone much, only when my family visits.” I suddenly remembered the reason I had got up, from my chair. I didn’t care about the meter box nor getting a parking ticket. We continued to talk about life, and I wanted to hear more about hers. We spoke of her children, and how times had changed so much. The words I remember her saying, was how her life had been so wonderful, and she would not have done a thing to change it if she had her time over. She mentioned how lovely and fresh I looked, and asked me if I was a tennis player. I felt both saddened and humbled.

I hadn’t noticed that mum had already begun walking down the corridor towards the doors where we both stood. It was time for us to leave, I glanced down at her wrist and noticed a clear plastic medical band with her name on it, and read the word “hospice” along side it. I didn’t know what to say to her. I knew that I would never see her again. This person who had just shared a part of her life with me and I would never be in this same place again talking to her as I had just done. She knew this too. We looked at each other and we hugged. I felt I wanted to go with her to wherever it was she would go eventually. Time was like quicksand the feeling of hopelessness for her not able to put my hand out to save her, from her fate. Oh how I wanted to with all my might. Her mortal time had run out.

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An excerpt from my new book called “The Things I Did When No One Was Watching.” Coming soon, so exciting!!!

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The Glass Prison

I longed to be out, smelling of perfume, and dressed in high heels with my long hair flowing in the dusk of an evening gazing into the eyes of a lover over an intimate candlelit dinner followed by a walk on the beach. Oh what a fabulous imagination I had when the mundane set in. I took myself off to all kinds of places in my head.

If push came to shove, would I spend time with a lonely reminiscing woman who was in her last stages of life, listening to her tiresome and repetitive stories or would I jump in my car, and speed away to meet my lover who insisted on seeing me on a dark moonlit evening. My conscience already had the answer. Of course I would stay and listen to such ramblings. Here I was I after coming back from Melbourne where my mother and I were homeless and living in our little old car where we had ended up renting a condemned house, no money in the bank it was hand to mouth while doing a job I hated to the core and no support.

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Do Nothing With Your Life & You Won’t Be Targeted

Don’t Want To Be Misunderstood? Don’t Be Great, according to Peter James Sinclair of “Motivational Memo” and I certainly have to agree with him. Are you seeking an upgraded version of you. Lets see what Peter says! :)

Click Me

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Fifty Shades of Writing

Think you need a great imagination to be a writer? not necessarily. However what you do need is courage to shovel all of your secret thoughts “out,” and be prepared for the “action” to take place. Never dumb yourself down.

What genre sells? Good question. I don’t really think anyone has the real answer to this one, and it’s certainly NOT one genre is popular with the world, but what I do know is this… people love being shocked & terrified They love to be made to “feel” something or moved by a story or novel.

You can write about anything you like and make it a moving experience, where it grips the reader.  Take the novel “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Yes I read it, and my opinion of the story seemed like “Mills & Boon” with sex.

Perhaps they felt the book was so poorly written that they had to make a movie out of it just to give it an extra push. Seriously one of my favourite movies is “Gone With the Wind,” not because of my age. The story had depth and precision, not to mention the beautiful costumes of the time, and it made the imagination work.

Anyhow, I’m not giving away all of my secrets of passion just yet because I would like your feedback.

*  Have you

*  Ever wanted to be a writer

*  Need the Courage to start

*  Worried about bad grammar & spelling

*  Worried about what people will think if you write about your secret passions

Once you’ve read my book “Things I Did When No one was watching,” you’ll find the courage to begin your journey as a writer. Emotions don’t usually go anywhere, no one ever see’s them, they’re invisible. I use my emotions to create they are a tool of the trade. Allow them flow freely.

New trailer to the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I love honest feedback so go on don’t leave me to talk to myself here…

Watch Trailer here

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Don’t Self Sabotage

The last chapter of my book explains how we become “locked in” to giving other people all our time and attention. The book will make you see that in giving more time to those around you sabotages your own valuable time and energy, and erodes your fundamental self worth and respect. Sadly in most cases, giving other people your “prime time” can result in a twist of fate where you end up receiving the crumbs off their table in a measly reward for your precious time and effort, not that you would expect anything in return. Having said that deep down most of us do expect some sort of a visible “thankyou.   Indeed becoming selfish ( self caring) in a healthy way is going to pay off. Saying “NO” to others is difficult for most of us, and usually it’s becuase we can’t say “NO” to our conscience. We need to learn what makes us tick and how to cope with who we are, just as if we are having to cope with another person. We are all “someone else.” We are not separate and apart from.

Thanks to low self worth, guilt and not being able to say NO I have a certificate in making up the best excuses in the world to replace NO. That little word seemed to harsh and I didn’t want to hurt the person. I had a collection of excuses up my sleeve like a magician, ready to pull one out at any given time. You have to have believable excuses to replace NO if your not actually going to say the word or you will look a fool. Isn’t it better just to be honest. Lying weakens your character, because it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself  and will not make you feel strong and in control either.

We all run to the same patterns because all of us are “interconnected through consciousness. Most often we run our butts off for others because we desire approval and attention, and why do we seek this? To feel worthy. When we don’t have something returned we feel unappreciated. This might lead to anger and a f***k everyone attitude. ( pardon the french) Answer  this…

Does it feel great when you actually get round to doing something for YOU?

Okay I’ll be the first to answer this YES it felt bloody good to finally master the art of saying  NO, well actually I didn’t really master it, I simply realised that I mattered as much as anyone else so if was easy for me to say that little two lettered word. I rate highly in my own estimation of self and unless you can sort of explain this to people your going to appear “self centred.” Maybe? well..not always. I was once the queen of self justification to the point where I made my vulnerability obvious.

We don’t need to justify who we are, if people think we are self centred then you trying to explain all of this will not change their opinion of you, but your actions just might.  Seeing is believing that some may envy your smooth ability to be able to control certain situations simply by applying that little word NO in all the right places. It’s amazing how much affect it can have.

We don’t want to walk around with peoples foot all prints all over us and  feeling empty as a result.

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