The reason for creating this blog, was to share some of life’s experiences which gave me inspiration to become a writer and author. So much of what I write about, will resonate with many of you, in knowing life can appear to be simple, yet it is not for so many of us who continuously face financial hardship, loneliness, phobia’s caused by stress and trauma, and a “bum steer” which began my life’s journey has taught me so much – mainly about “myself good and not so good,” those experiences have been my measuring stick and stepping stones to some of the wisdom I have gleaned over time.
I am not much different to you, the only difference lies in the fact that I had decided to share my pain and struggle, and not to keep quiet about it. Most of all, I have finally had the courage to overcome “dyslexia, ADHD and my traumatic past life. It has taken me years upon years just to get this far in having the courage within to step outside myself and my known comfort zones to allow myself permission to be heard.
Growing a “thick skin” is something I needed to obtain in order to put my vulnerable self out there knowing I am exposed to judgment, ridicule, and mockery. Indeed I had to actually “LEARN” to love “ME.” I needed to realise that I too was as important to this existence as anyone I had put above my own needs and opinions. Women are often very good at becoming invisible, we do this well. The old belief system where society insisted pressurising women to put others needs before their own, allowed our male counterparts to shirk these qualities that women have taken soul charge of through their need to feel adequate as a human beings. We can fall into this trap in different ways. As you will read in my new book “The Things I did When No One Was Watching.” The last story about “Joyce” and the lessons learned where my own guilt of never feeling worthy of my own existence caused me to fall down a pit hole. It was not until I had realised that my efforts had been in vain, did I stop and see that it was a case of “the blind leading the blind.” I was in no position to help Joyce, because I had not allowed me to help me first, therefore as most people who need help themselves, they get into bother trying to help others.. sound familiar?”
I had not acknowledged self. I used the mirror to put on make up and do my hair, never really taking special time out to really connect with that person who had become invisible. The one I had neglected, wanted to be my hero but I had ignored her needs, hushing her up, telling her she was not the focus of attention. This was the person who was eventually going to change my life. She was under my nose all along, how did I not see her?
How I connected to self and became visible “yes visible.” When we don’t see ourselves we others become more important and we loose ourselves in the overgrowth. Use a mirror to find yourself, thats the real tool. the person who will change your life is looking back at you in a mirror!